Helpless

Imagine standing on a river bank watching your child struggle and flail as the river current carries them further away from your reach. You have to decide in a split second whether to leap into the water to try to save your child or you can hope that someone will hear your cries and come to your child’s rescue. Time seems to stand still, the world melts away around you. Your body is paralyzed with fear, our breaths are shallow and rapid and the simple act of breathing becomes an insurmountable feat. Now, snap back into reality, steady yourself, slow your breathing, this is only a vision, it is not real. What is real is that feeling of helplessness that mothers feel or a fairly regular basis when we are unable to protect our child from getting hurt. We live in a time where as much as we try there are circumstances and forces that prey upon our children that are outside of our control. When our children are younger we are hyper-focused and hyper-vigilant to make sure that all things that make impart harm stay out of our children’s grasp and path. We watch them like a hawk to make sure that they stay out of trouble and don’t get into something that may cause them harm. We teach them to be aware and stay away from strangers, don’t touch the stove, don’t walk away from us when we are out in public, all in an effort to control their environment so that they will always be safe. As they get older, we put some trust in others and send our children off to school where we give our children to teachers and staff with the expectation that will keep them safe. As they continue to grow, they become more independent and want to wander farther away from us. This new found independence inhibits our ability to keep them within our reach, to keep them away from others that may not have their best interest at heart and to make sure that no danger comes near them. School shootings, sex trafficking’s, police brutality have reshaped our world and the ability to keep them safe becomes more difficult. These circumstances cause us to hover and to be over protective. It also makes the feeling of helplessness overwhelming. The ultimate goal of any mother is to teach, protect and raise our children so that they become independent, fully functioning contributors to society. However; despite our best efforts, there are forces that seek to thwart these efforts. For our Black boys, a target is being placed on their backs. We are witnessing that young boys are being seen as grown men and treated as such. A young boy walking home with Skittles and a hoodies is shot dead, when he was probably going home to play video games. When we look at our babies, we see them as just that, babies, but to the world they see monsters. Knowing these facts, make mothers feel helpless and worthless. We are unable to fulfill the basic premise of being a mother and that knowledge is almost unbearable. So as mothers what are we to do? We can throw up our hands in frustration or we can be a catalyst for change. I will be honest, I have not idea what change will impart the most change, but I am clear that change is needed. It starts at home with us preparing our sons for the world they will face. As much as we want to shield our babies and protect their innocence, we must arm and prepare them so that they will be on guard. Lack of preparation and knowledge could lead to their death. Having those uncomfortable conversations with our sons, at the school board meetings, at city council meetings, will start the ball rolling. We can no longer remain silent hoping that the world hears our internal screams of fear for our sons. The sorority of mothers that have buried their children at the hands of others that do not value a human life is growing larger everyday. It is time to reduce the number of members. As mothers our strength and resilience is powerful, it is time for us to harness this collective power and save our sons.