When I found out that I was expecting each of you, I loved you both before I had the pleasure of meeting you in person. My dreams and wishes for you and your future are large and grand. Even as infants, I knew unequivocally that you were placed in this world to be great and do great things. Now here we are in 2020, you are seven and ten years old with a lifetime ahead of you. A lifetime…what does that really mean?
Randall, my first born king. You are the sweetest, funniest and gentle spirit I know. You always root for the underdog and make sure that everyone around you has the opportunity to shine and be great. Your child like innocence makes my heart leap. You and your brother are very low maintenance kids. It doesn’t take much to make you happy and you still get excited about the smallest things. You are smart, talented, athletic and oh so humble about you inherent greatness. You are never one to be the center of attention. You shy away from the spotlight and get uncomfortable when your talents are highlighted or acknowledged. There has never been a kid that you didn’t want to engage with and call friend. You are a natural born leader.
Then there is my Robby. My beautiful, bright eyed old soul. I had no idea of the person that you would become. You have exceeded my expectations in so many ways. I say often that you have been here several times before, because you are wise beyond your years. You surprise many people you meet because of your astute and intellectual mind. You are so observant and deeply engaged in everything you do. You are a sponge desiring to learn and understand more and more everyday. Such a charmer, you have the ability to make the coldest heart melt, just by batting those big beautiful eyes. You emulate your big brother and want to do everything that he does so you can grow up, yet there are times when you tell me that you wish that you were still my baby. When you tell me this, you have no idea that I wish you were still a baby. Sometimes I wish I could press a restart button to have you all as babies so that I can protect you from the bad things of this world.
I grew up in a time where social media was not a thing. Your grandparents were able to shield me from the atrocities of the world. I was so naïve in so many ways. It wasn’t until I stepped foot onto the Highest of Seven Hills, Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University, that I became truly aware of the greatness of the African American community. I saw a campus full of people that all looked like me that were reaching for the stars. However; that utopia only lasted on the campus. When I was in other areas of Tallahassee, I became keenly aware that there were others that were less enamored with our greatness than I. I saw that Black people were not treated equally. There were people rooting against us, hoping for our failure. Fore me seeing Black people achieve and obtain degrees was my norm, but this is not everyone’s reality. For many that were attending FAMU, they were the first in their families to make it to college. What a wake up call that was. The storybook that my parents had written for me was just a fairytale for many, far from reality. That experience at FAMU and many more shaped me and opened my eyes to what this country truly is.
With that being said I have to make the decision of whether it is time to show you the reality of this world, the reality of what you will face. Everything in me wants to protect you and shield you from anything that is scary and bad. I am not ready for you to know what is really happening. However; if I continue to shield you, I am missing the opportunity to teach you and prepare you for the impending chaos you will be released into. As a mother it is not only my duty to protect you from harm, but it my responsibility to educate and arm you with the tools you will need to survive. Sooner than I will care to admit, you will be entering adulthood and all of the things adulthood will bring. It would be irresponsible of me to release you to the wolves without arming you so that you will have a fighting chance. What I am about to tell you will scare you and shock you. I am stripping away the veil of your innocence and you will never be the same again. It is not my intent to cause you to hide and remain in a state of fear. My reason and rationale is to prepare you and to arm you with the knowledge so that you will be able to heighten your awareness and stay alive. I can no longer sugar coat things for you. I have to prepare you for what’s to come.
As you get older you will get stronger and wiser. As you grow taller and get bigger, there are those that will become intimidated by your greatness. Your regality as Black Kings will be seen as a threat and there will be people that will want to eradicate the threat. You will be hunted, hunted by weak minded people that will judge you solely on your blackness and not the greatness that you possess. I task both of you with one thing and one thing only, stay alive! We know that every being on this planet will leave this world at some point, but it is my desire you are not stolen before your time until your God given purpose is fulfilled. Use your intellect to outsmart those that see you as an enemy. There are still good people in this world, but you need to learn to recognize the wolves in sheep’s clothing. Stay aware always, don’t let your guard down. there will be those that mean you harm that will smile in your face with the knife held behind their back. You must be hyper-vigilant in recognizing those that are truly in your corner. You will need to master the art of remaining calm on the outside even though you may be stewing within. When you are infuriated your ability to remain calm and diffuse situations, will be your super power. Always remember the mission, STAY ALIVE! Walk away if you need to so that you will be able to complete the mission. Do not let the fight to be right, be a reason that the mission is not completed. You will need to smile through your anguish sometime so that you will make other comfortable. I understand that you will want to yell, cry and fight but we have a mission to complete. You are a part of an endangered species. The Black man is being exterminated. While I cannot save everyone, I will leave this Earth trying to make sure that your dream are realized. I feel with ever fiber of my being that you were placed here to change this world for the better. You are special and I will do my part as your mother to pour into you and to protect you for as long as I can. I will validate you everyday so that you will know that you are blessed, gifted and highly favored. You are beautiful in body, mind and spirit. You are descendants of greatness, and greatness is expected of you. I love you with all that I am. I am so sorry that I could not fix the world for you, but we can change our piece of the world by living in our greatness. This is your first nudge out of the nest, soon it will be time to soar. I will be watching as you spread your wings and fly into your destiny.
Love you always,
Mommy
M.O.B.B (Mothers of Black Boys) Talk 