“Sorry”

“I’m sorry”, one of the oldest phrases in the English language. One of the first phrases we teach our children when they hurt or wrong another person. There are times when the weight and gravity of that phrase is so powerful because it is coming from the deepest part of a person’s soul. The sincerity and acknowledgement of the wrongdoing is so present that you can almost reach out and touch it. There are other times that when the phrase leaves a person’s mouth, the sincerity of it dissipates as quickly as it was said. The robotic apology is obviously rehearsed and has no meaningful value. There once was a time when “I’m sorry” carried so much value and importance that it was often an internal battle to utter the words due to the human ego and facing the reality of wrongdoing or an admission of guilt. Now we have entered a new reality where shortcomings, lapses in judgement or wrongdoings can be recorded and posted for all of the cyber world to see. In the age of the ‘cancel culture’, one may be forced into a knee-jerk reaction to offer an apology whether it is sincere or not. This phrase is thrown out to control and minimize the damage and carnage. This phrase is often tossed around like an old sock to appease the masses and to stop the monetary bleeding. When the fire gets hot, this phrase is thrown out like a flotation device to someone who is drowning. These words have become cheapened and not longer hold the value they once had. PR teams for athletes and celebrities use this phrase like a platinum card on Rodeo Drive. To them this phrase can wipe the slate clean, buying them enough time for the next person to have a failure to divert attention away from their client. Young adults and adults for that matter, naïve to the beast of the cyber world, callously post thoughts and photos without any regard to the consequences. When the pressure is applied for them to accept responsibility for what was said or done, they are suddenly sorry. But what exactly are they sorry for? Are you sorry for being held accountable? Are you acknowledging your fault in a situation or scenario? Are you sorry that you were caught and are being called out? Due to the variations of rationale and reasoning behind this phrase when it said has called this phrase to fall on deaf ears. People have become numb to the power that this phrase once held. So here is a word of advice, THINK! Before those words spew out of your mouth in anger…think. Before you make that post go viral on Instagram or Facebook…think. Think if this is something you are willing to stand behind and defend no matter what happens. Think if this is something that will hurt or destroy others. Think if your words and actions will cause a chain reaction that you will not be able to control. Think if you will be the cause of long-term devastation for something or someone else. As humans, we are the highest species on the planet because of our ability to think and reason. We are not primal beings who only act upon animalistic instincts. If you don’t want to have to utter the words, ‘I’m sorry’, it is sometimes valuable to take a pause to evaluate the situation to save yourself from a lifetime of grief. Now is the time for all to be intentional and unapologetic against things that we know to be inhumane and wrong. We have an opportunity to take back the power of this phrase so that when it is really needed, it will be accepted as sincere and honest. If you want your apology to be accepted you may also have to accept the fact that there may be consequences and ramifications. “I’m sorry” is not an automatic pass or “get out of jail free card”. Your words and actions going forward will be the catalyst to move from an apology to forgiveness. Everyone is entitled to forgiveness, but only if you are willing to acknowledge the hurt.