Souls for Sale

”Hear ye, hear ye, we have souls for sale. For a small fee you too can become famous, get thousands of ‘likes and shares’. All you have to do is forgo morality, values and common decency.” On paper this seems utterly ridiculous. Who would ever willingly sell their soul for social media followers, more cars than you can ever drive or enough jewelry to feed several countries? Unfortunately, the numbers that can and do is more than I can comprehend.

During Black history month alone we have all witnessed what seems to be a blue-light special on immorality, greed and just plain nastiness. Under the guise of truth telling or holding people accountable we have seen Black celebrities profit from the public degradation of other Black people. The timing of these atrocities is more than unfortunate. During the one month we are provided to celebrate the greatness of our people, we have over shadowed the celebration with boastful pride and over-inflated egos. I will always be a proponent of telling the truth and holding people accountable, but not at the expense sacrificing my soul. How the truth is told is equally as important as the truth being told. The truth teller is not absolved from accountability by prefacing a self-serving motive with an insincere prologue of standing on the side of good. Anytime someone begins a statement with “I have no ill will toward them, but…” or “I still love them, but…” the sincerity dissipates rapidly. We saw Monique’s interview with Shannon Sharpe and for every verbal missile she launched, she prefaced it with some nicety to soften the impact. Although there were probably levels of truth to what she was saying, for many the level of empathy diminished along with her sincerity. After her interview on Club Shay Shay, she doubled down even more during one of her comedy sets by saying she was sorry to Tyler Perry and Oprah and following with a request to “suck her…”. As a comedian I understand that your goal is to get a laugh, but in my heart I believe that the bitterness and hurt Monique is suffering through is rotting her from the inside out. It is obvious this was more than a joke, she meant what she said from the bottom of what is left of her soul. What makes this even more unfortunate is that these events are being aired out for public consumption. There used to be a time when family business stayed at home, but today these spectacles occur daily.

The court of public opinion has ring side seats to observe our role models and perceived success stories verbally assassinate one another. As Black people we can no longer be offended by those outside our community imparting judgements upon us, when we are acting out every negative stereotype we have been branded with. Our self-destructive behaviors allow for those that mean us harm to chip away at any remaining community we have. The more we divide ourselves the easier it is to deny us the basics we are owed as human beings in this country. Bad behavior should never be rewarded and by our own merits we are showing that we are undeserving of equitable treatment because we are a house divided.

We often are offended by those that don’t look like us referring to “black on black crime”; however, we have made a sport of tuning into the next verbal assault of one black person against another. I can say with a high degree of certainty that this manner of gaining success is not the “Promised Land” Dr. King was speaking of or the “by any means necessary” that Malcolm X spoke of. Our abolitionists, freedom fighters and civil rights heroes did not sacrifice their lives for us to self implode. We have now made a habit of only uniting when it is to take down another that looks like us. It is abysmal, disappointing and embarrassing to watch examples of this on a daily basis. Personally, I am at a point where I laugh to prevent crying. We are witnessing some of our best and brightest rip each other to shreds on public stages for a check or comedy special.

Today I watched Shannon Sharpe publicly threaten to inflict bodily harm to another Black man. As if that was not bad enough the intended target of this threat (Mike Epps) proceeded to respond publicly in the same manner, but upped the ante by implying using a weapon to inflict harm. These are two very grown men that should know better giving the worst example to those coming behind them on how to manage conflict. Could these men not have picked up the phone to discuss this or meet privately? Yes they could have. However, there was a pre-meditated conscious decision to air out their dirty laundry in a public forum. The danger of this public display is that it will live on forever. It cannot be retracted or apologized away. For our young men the example has been set by ‘Unc’, that is appropriate to act first and talk later. This line of thinking has many of our young men finding themselves in prison or an early grave. Although a few days later these two men met and hashed out their differences, as they should have done in the first place, the damage is already done. People will always remember the first response, which for many is the final response. The Bible tells us “To whom much is given, much is required.”-Luke 12:48. We are blessed to be a blessing to others.

Whatever the objective of these, situations such as the one described above, does the bidding of the enemy. When Black people are told they are violent and uncontrollable, these these types of actions do not refute the claims, but propels them further. When we are told we do not need to retain the family unit because we lack the ability to operate as a community, these actions feed the narrative. When Black people are willing to sacrifice one of their own whether it be physically or psychologically, we are potentially removing a father from their family. We seem to be the only group that denigrates our own.  It is so ironic that we have allies using social media to fight for equality on our behalf, yet we are using these platforms to divide and destroy our own. We represent a small percentage of the population in this country and somehow the ones that have broken the odds seem to be willing to do whatever it takes to stay on top, even at the price of their soul. If a check motivates you to ignore your morals and values, news flash you have sold your soul to the highest bidder. While their are those trying to erase our history in this country, we have those that are writing a new version of oppression. It is no secret that the weapon used during slavery was to control the mind and thoughts of slaves. Once the mind is stolen, the body will follow. So the methods used in our early history were methods such as buck breaking or public lynchings, there are modern day methods that are equally as effective. Those dangling carrots of greed and fame control the minds and bodies of those that allow them to. Be careful when your life is driven by chasing numbers, whether it be dollars or followers. You will never get something for nothing. If you hard work and sweat equity is not sufficient to drive your motivation and success, just be sure that your soul does not become your currency. If we use our blessing irresponsibly, there will always be consequences and repercussions.

Now I would be a hypocrite if I did not acknowledge that I am equally at fault for being a catalyst for the number of views increasing. Historically, we were forced to shuck and jive for the people while have our talents exploited for entertainment. Today in 2024, we are shucking and jiving for the Gram, to be on “Love and Hip Hop” or to be a “Housewife” by our own merits. The road to perceived success is paved with immorality, debauchery and violence, both verbal and physical. Millions have “made it” through the exploitation of men and women with a hyper-focus on becoming famous or more exact, infamous. Nothing is off-limits or too much if it results more views or likes. It seems that the more cringe worthy the moments, the higher the price tag.

When we use social media to air our grievances even if we are pleading our case on why we have been wronged, the backlash comes on us. We disguise our true motives under the guise of doing right, when we are equally as complicit. Are our intentions to heal relationships with others as well as our own hurt and brokenness or are we trying to get some “get back” against those we feel have wronged us? There are some things that should never be tried in the court of public opinion. As we have heard forgiveness is not for the person who has wronged us, but for ourselves. When family issues arise, social media should never be the place to solve the issue, especially parent-child issues. 

I am not sure when it became appropriate to discuss a broken relationship with a parent on social media. What is more inappropriate is for the parent to respond on social media. As an almost 50 year old women I fully recognize that younger people have normalized this behavior; however, if you are over 40 years old, this should not be your modus operandi. As parent we have to accept that how our child feels may not always align with the reality of a situation. Even if our actions were grounded in pure intentions, if those actions were received in any other way than pure love, we must acknowledge that fact. Time is a catastrophic weapon against an unhealed situation. The more time that passes, the more time is allowed for bitterness and resentment to build. When an adult child recalls a situation that occurred in their childhood, there is a possibility that the sequence of events may be out of order or peppered with colorful anecdotes. Whether or not our recall of the situation aligns with our child, as a parent we have to acknowledge the pain our child may harbor in their heart. It is not our role to tell our child that their feelings are invalid because we don’t agree with their recollection. To deny these feelings as wrong or invalid will cause irreparable damage long term. To do this denial in a public forum magnifies the damaged party ten-fold. 

We cannot demand more from others, if we don’t demand more from ourselves. Blessings cannot be released to us until we learn to be good stewards with the ones we already have. Blessings do not always equate to cars, jewelry and designer handbags. Living a life surrounded by others that love you and want the best for you is the good life as well. Being happy and healthy are living the rich life. When you have to seek out a virtual fan club to justify your actions, you are not living the good life. When you only feel validated by the likes and shares of strangers, you are an empty vessel. Every individual has free will; however, we were given this gift with the understanding of knowing right from wrong. Free will does not give you the right to steal the freedom of someone else. Just as the Freedom Fighters before us, we must seek freedom not only for ourselves but our brothers and sisters in the struggle as well. We must be careful and remember that it may feel good in the moment, but karma is waiting in the wings to take it all and then some.