Metaphorically Speaking

There is an old adage that resonates with my spirit this morning, “Never bring a knife to a gun fight.” We have probably heard this saying on at least several occasions in our adult life. We know that the intention of this saying is for us to figuratively assess that we are prepared for difficult situations or to make sure you have the right tools for the situation you are embarking upon. A metaphor is meant to make us think and to have an association to use as a point of reference, this was never meant to be a literal statement. However; here we are today where a metaphor has been realized in the most literal sense. I continue to tell myself that if another video is circulated of a civilian and police interaction, I will not watch. I say this because each one causes more mental damage, each one takes a piece of my heart with it. Every video shakes me to my core and hope and faith are depleted from me. This time, like the times before, I had to watch. I had to see for myself because certainly this time would be different or would this had to be a time where the officers had no other options. I get news alerts on my phone and the alert for the shooting of Walter Wallace, Jr. popped up on my phone. I had to see it for myself so I could process and understand if this time would be different. Certainly with the last time and the time before, officers would exhaust every other option before they would resort to shooting a man dead. The hope and optimism in me had to believe that things were moving in a positive direction. It is no secret that the mental health of people in this country is being taxed and tested tremendously. Uncertainty, fear and a unclear path forward promotes anxiety and sadness in the strongest of people. For many this is the first time that they are experiencing mental health stress, but imagine the internal turmoil and struggle of those that have been battling mental health demons on a regular basis. The stress of the pandemic, civil and racial unrest may be the straws that will break the camel’s back. We have fortunately entered into a time where mental health issues are acknowledged publicly without fear of being demonized. However; although there is an awareness that mental health problems are more widespread than what was originally thought, the healthcare and government infrastructure has not adjusted and adapted to the realization of rampant mental health issues in this country. So, what are the options when you have a family member experiencing mental decline? If they are not a physical danger to themselves or others you may take them to the emergency room or call the paramedics, in hopes that they will be able to triage and treat them in the short term until they are able to see a doctor. You never would make this choice if you believed there would be a possibility that a paramedic would dose your loved one with ketamine to the point of an overdose, yet it has happened. Your second option would be to call the police if there is the possibility of physical harm. Both of these options are high risk and variable these days. You take a gamble that you will get one of the good public servants when you make that call. You pray that things will be routine. You never want to believe that you will be in a scenario where you may be bringing a knife to a gun fight and that your loved one may be subjected to excessive, or in the case of Walter Wallace, Jr, deadly force. The major responsibilities of parenting is keeping our children safe and to make sure that they are cared for. Parenting also requires that you check your ego and are comfortable with knowing you have certain limitations and may need to find help outside of yourself in order to obtain the best care for your child or children. Surrendering to the vulnerability of seeking help for your child because you are not equipped to do so is the most selfless thing a parent can do. I am sure that was the thought process of the mother of Walter Wallace. She saw her child in distress and realized that the help he needed was beyond what she could offer. She made the painstaking decision to call the police, hoping that she would be able to direct and advise so that the police officers could safely and successfully subdue her child until he could get medical attention. I am sure never in her wildest thoughts did she believe that she would literally be sending her son to gun fight with a knife. From the video it was clear immediately that she realized that her hopes were not in alignment with what was happening. Her attention then had to be refocused to attempt to calm the officers as she sensed their fear. At times she was physically shielding her son, willing to take a bullet for him if needed. Mothers instinctively become mama bear when they sense danger is looming for their children. I appreciate and understand that the racial and civil discord in this country has had a direct impact on an upward trend of anxiety and other mental health issues in members of law enforcement. Every call for law enforcement is a journey into the unknown. There is no longer a such thing as a routine call or a routine traffic stop. What used to be routine can turn deadly as in the case of Philandro Castile. Knowing that these are turbulent times and racial tensions are running high, when an officer is called about a mental health situation, the current culture and training of law enforcement may create a situation of bringing a knife to a gun fight. It becomes a powder keg when unchecked mental health issues of a law enforcement officer meets a civilian in a mental health spiral. The ability to think clearly and rationally goes out the window when an officer is overrun by fear and anxiety. The fear of the officers in the Walter Wallace situation was visible and almost palatable. The modern day police departments have de-prioritized de-escalation training and implementation. Most departments have created mini-military organizations where shoot first and ask questions last has become the order of the day. Excessive force and an uncompassionate heart are not the proper tools to bring to these types of calls, yet the obvious goes unaddressed and unacknowledged. To those that will look at this and scoff that he should have complied, I pray that you or a loved one of yours never experience a mental health emergency. Simplistically, when you are in the throws of a mental episode, your ability to see or hear clearly or think rationally is impaired or totally absent. A change in your medication dose or a stressful event can cause a spiral to escalate very quickly. A degree of empathy is necessary, the same as for someone that was afflicted with cancer. Judgement or opinions will not fix this, only reform and accountability will. My heart breaks for this mother as I know that her heart led her to seek help for her son. She had the purest of intentions and yet it unraveled right in front of her. All of the years of protecting her son from the Boogieman became inconsequential in a matter of minutes as she invited the Boogieman to her front door. She will have to live with that guilt for the rest of her living days. Although others will try to assure her that this was not her fault, there will be no words available in the English language to help her reconcile her guilt with the reality of what happened to her son. I have lost count of the number of these incidents that have occurred in the past year or even just 2020 for that matter. Root cause analysis points to the same conclusion, yet the phrase “defund the police” draws more emotion and rage than the reason for why the phrase was created in the first place. I will admit that the phrase is a bit misleading, it is obvious that law enforcement is necessary; however improvement is very much needed. The current construct creates an “us versus them” scenario. It also seems unreasonable to think that there should be a requirement for police officers to become mental health subject matter experts. However; just like the mother of Walter Wallace, police officers must know when they are beyond their capabilities and seek the help of those that are experienced in these types of matters. From the time that a 911 call is received, there should be mechanisms in place to assure that appropriate resources are deployed to handle the situation. This will assure that the appropriate tools are being brought to the fight. The battle should not be between the civilian and the civil servant, but against the disease afflicting the civilian.

To the mother of Walter Wallace, Jr, I grieve with you and I will stand in the gap for you as I know that you are not able to stand at this moment. As a mother, I know your actions were rooted in the love for you child and you did everything in your power to keep your child safe. You were willing to lay down your life for his. I pray for your healing and peace as I know this will be a long hard journey for you. I pray that in time you will be able to forgive yourself and will know that you did nothing wrong. You did not fail as a parent, you did what a mother should do, you loved your child unconditionally until he drew his last breath.

We are in strange days and times. That which was meant to be a metaphor has now become visceral and literal. The concepts of normal and routine no longer exist. So instead of getting up in arms about the phrase “defund the police”, open your minds and hearts to understand and hear the intent of why this premise exists. We must acknowledge that the infrastructure of law enforcement is fractured and the concept of “protect and serve” cannot co-exist under this current framework. If police departments are not willing to create or strengthen connections with the communities they govern, the literal manifestation of bringing a knife to a gun fight will continue to happen. You can understand what you don’t know. If you don’t know the people that live in the communities in which you work, you will apply a broad brush and make assumptions that are rooted in opinions and judgements. If your presence is only seen or felt when you are responding to chaos you will not be seen as a civil servant but the enemy. There are still a few that understand the importance of establishing relationships within the community they serve, but they are few and far between. Civilians are not the enemy of the state. Law enforcement must return to humanity and community. The objective and goal should never to win a gun fight, the gun fight should always be the last resort.